and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
