I want to have your abortion
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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