I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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