remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The air was thick with penises
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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