Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize