apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize