If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
