I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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