"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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