There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
