is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I love you. Go after that dick
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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