As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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