do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
