why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
