If that was your dad, he is hot
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
