That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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