so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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