I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my sisters under your porch take her home
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
