i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize