We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
