do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
