You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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