wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We got so high we made milksteak
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
