Taylor Swift is so right about you.
oh god the rape fog is back!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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