i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
