I wish my penis had an off switch
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
false alarm, still single
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
