when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Someone signed my nipple.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
