The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
