Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
