You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
