I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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