Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
