meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
