You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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