in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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