so that wasnt chicken after all
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
