"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
