Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
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