i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
