I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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