So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
