i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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