You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
