I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
