just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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