Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
