Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
