HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
