Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
