New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
