I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The power of my boobs compel you
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
