Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
