who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Come share oat with me in your robe
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
