Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
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