i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
