I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
